MEN IN TROUSERS (Part II)

‘Without Prejudice’
Incase of controversy I would like to pre empt my next paragraph with a statement of explanation. For the purposes of wit and fluency, I will be drawing from stereo-types which will require you reader to take in all the information with a lightness of mind. I would like to establish that I have dated men from all sizes, creed, colour, background and age and I am not in any way racist or prejudice.


The High Waisted Man

There are two obvious types of this creature. The small and the tall. So as not to offend our smaller man any more than his natural disposition denotes, let me begin with him.

Unlike others of average height and stature the underlying small foundations upon which he is built have created a man that needs to be seen, heard, recognised and above all stand out in a crowd. He is successful, witty charming, aggressive, all of which have earned him his desired achievements. However he is and will always be small and thus in his attempt to be taller has found himself outkast neither man nor woman for he has chosen this path, by the very trousers to which he clings.
Highwaisted.

He has learned from fashion experts and from the female species that highwaisted trousers are pretty much a flattering look all round. They synch in your waist, (I imagine for this man he believes this will enlarge his gym created pecks) and above all they elongate your legs. But there is one vital guidance rule that our creature has passed over . This applies to Women and NOT MEN. This is infact a NO GO ZONE for any creature in possession of a penis. Alas in his vain attempt to be taller and recognised he has shortened his body which he shows off in tight fitting round necked white or black long sleeved t shirts and his boot leg black jeanz that rest on a pair of heeled cowboy boots have all added to the demise of his taller attempts. On some occasions this quick thinking man will team this up with a sharp tailored Italian black suit jacket, worn button open. Once again beckoning the eye not to the length of his legs but only to his offensively high waist band as pronounced as the equator itself, causing not time confusions and jetlag but gender disorientation. His designer belt acts only as a combined light house/ chastity belt alerting women sailing through dark nights to steer clear and redirect for they have fallen off-course.